Snap in your Tea! Pt A
by 4gVn SoUl
Summary: Holly spikes Artemis Tea. Chaos ensues. Joint story with Artemis Fowl II. Rated for language and some mild inuendo.
1. Chapter 1

A/n:

A/n:

We are siblings (4gVn SoUl and Artemis Fowl II) and as such we have decided to write a crackfic. As this is a crackfic this will be the only serious note in the story. As this is the case we thought we would inform you that this is a crackfic with a difference. On both our accounts the same story will be posted under the same name however, both parts won't be the same…

On AF2's account the story will be in Arty's POV and on 4gVn SoUl's account it will be in Holly's POV. This may sound stupid but reading both points will help you to understand it better.

As we have had our final sensible comment for the story, we shall commence with the crackyfickyness (see, it's started already :D)

Disclaimer: Artemis Fowl and any of the associated characters are soul property of Eoin Colfer. Oh well.

AF2 and 4s commence with consuming vast quantities of sugars and E numbers XD

Snap in your Tea?

By 4gVn SoUl

And

Artemis Fowl II

- This story is set after the Time Paradox but Julius isn't dead. 'Why?' You ask.

'WHY NOT!' We answer..

This means that every good guy met so far is alive and possibly included…

Obtw Arty's Mum doesn't know anything yet. -

Chapter 1: Hold on to your Granny Pants

Holly was bored. When Holly is bored people get hurt. She decided to spike Artemis' tea ( as you do). As she walked by a newspaper (LARGE SPONGES EAT FORT KNOX!) she began to prepare the Snap (fairy halucinagenic/prozac/alcohol).

As she was doing this she found herself inhaling more of the fumes than she should have. She began to feel dizzy and flying spatulas began circling her head so she ran.

Then Holly heard an indistinct scream and was convinced that THEY had found her. It was actually Artemis but she still yelled "You're one of THEM!" to which Artemis replied "So's your Mum!"

Then Artemis Fowl Senior showed up. "Hey kids! I have a rope, a pitchfork and 5 rolls of duck-tape. WHO WANTS BREAKFAST?!"

Artemis' mum came running saying "I DO, I DO, I DO!" and then adding, in a confused voice "What's breakfast?"

Meanwhile Holly was standing hunched over wringing her hands and muttering "Who wants to be a millionaire?" over and over again.

Then Butler walked in awkwardly as if some one had chucked several knives at his man-bits.

He then said in an extremely high pitched voice "Artemis, I think we need to have a talk but first I need to de-wedgieficate myself."

Artemis replied with a rather sarcastic "Woof."

Holly looked out of the window and yelled "ZOMG! MULTIPLE QUANTITIES OF BLUE DUCKS!"

Artemis shouted "Quick Butler! You deal with them and while you're at it, stop taking helium!" and threw him out of the window to the faint cries of "What's a duck?" from his mother.

Then the ducks ate everyone. And then a bread gun appeared and shot them all. Suddenly everyone was alive again. So there, you bitches!

Holly said "Well at least you aren't acting like you have a stick shoved up your…

A/n:

SPORK!


	2. Chapter 2

A/n:

A/n:

We are siblings (4gVn SoUl and Artemis Fowl II) and as such we have decided to write a crackfic. As this is a crackfic this will be the only serious note in the story. As this is the case we thought we would inform you that this is a crackfic with a difference. On both our accounts the same story will be posted under the same name however, both parts won't be the same…

On AF2's account the story will be in Arty's POV and on 4gVn SoUl's account it will be in Holly's POV. This may sound stupid but reading both points will help you to understand it better.

As we have had our final sensible comment for the story, we shall commence with the crackyfickyness (see, it's started already :D)

Disclaimer: Artemis Fowl and any of the associated characters are soul property of Eoin Colfer. Oh well.

AF2 and 4s commence with consuming vast quantities of sugars and E numbers XD

Snap in your Tea?

By 4gVn SoUl

And

Artemis Fowl II

- This story is set after the Time Paradox but Julius isn't dead. 'Why?' You ask.

'WHY NOT!' We answer..

This means that every good guy met so far is alive and possibly included…

Obtw Arty's Mum doesn't know anything yet. -

Chapter 2: YEY A GREEN ONE!

The phone rang. Artemis' mother (not knowing what a phone was) began running around in circles screaming "The bells! The bells! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

Holly was sitting down sipping tea (that had snap in it) and watching Artemis' mother have a meltdown.

Holly picked up the phone. It was Foaly. He said "Holly, I've noticed an alarming increase in snap consumption. Do you have anything to do with this?"

Holly was confused. "Yes. I mean, no. I mean. SHUT UP PENGUIN BOY!"

Foaly was also confused. "Penguin boy?"

Holly then proceeded to scream into the phone. "You heard me! You and your two flippers!" and slammed the phone down.

Holly was, yet again, bored. She decided to spice things up again. She went into the bathroom, pulled a cape out of her ear and began making Snap in the toilet. When she was done she walked up to Butler and says "Would you like an apple, dear?" in a creepy old person voice.

Butler said "That's a cup of tea."

Holly threw the cup in Butler's face.

Butler's pupils dilated and he squealed like a pig, fell on the floor and did The Worm along the hallway squeaking like an otter.

Suddenly Artemis said: "Sentio aliquose togatos contrami conspirare!" and then his father walked in dressed in a bed sheet with a laurel made of toilet brushes and holding a sign saying: "I'm coming to get you!" Needless to say Artemis ran screaming from the room.

Then Artemis father, looking smug, said: "Magister mundi sum!" but Holly, who had been experimenting with fruit, could only say,

"Te audire no possum, musa sapientum fixa est in aure" So that was fine!

Then Artemis walked in and said "Vah! Denuone latine loquevar? Sometimes it just slips out."

But his father stood there muttering, "Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem."

End

SNOOKER CUES!!


	3. Chapter 3

A/n:

A/n:

We are siblings (4gVn SoUl and Artemis Fowl II) and as such we have decided to write a crackfic. As this is a crackfic this will be the only serious note in the story. As this is the case we thought we would inform you that this is a crackfic with a difference. On both our accounts the same story will be posted under the same name however, both parts won't be the same…

On AF2's account the story will be in Arty's POV and on 4gVn SoUl's account it will be in Holly's POV. This may sound stupid but reading both points will help you to understand it better.

As we have had our final sensible comment for the story, we shall commence with the crackyfickyness (see, it's started already :D)

Disclaimer: Artemis Fowl and any of the associated characters are sole property of Eoin Colfer. Oh well.

AF2 and 4s commence with consuming vast quantities of sugars and E numbers XD

Snap in your Tea?

By 4gVn SoUl

And

Artemis Fowl II

- This story is set after the Time Paradox but Julius isn't dead. 'Why?' You ask.

'WHY NOT!' We answer.

This means that ever good guy met so far is alive and possibly included.

Obtw Arty's Mum doesn't know anything yet. -

Chapter 3: Flame!

"We have reviews!!" holly shouted, and then exploded. But that's okay because Artemis is good at unexploding people. He didn't bother to unexploded holly though…

"The first review!

'HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I can not stop laughing because of your story it is

Hilarious (good idea about the points of view from your stories) update soon'

By AH4EVER" Artemis read out.

"…" said Holly, who was still exploded.

"Well thank you AH4EVER for your kind words, we hope you can stop laughing or you won't be able to review anymore! Don't die please (master Artemis is in no state to dispose of the body!)" butler said, the only voice of reason. Until he caught the exploding bug and died.

Mulch read the second;

"'umh this story is really...interesting but I can't stop laughing the story makes no sense at all so it's funny laugh in background update soon chuckle' AH4EVER again? You have exceeded your second review thingy so have a cookie!" and Mulch handed over a cookie that had been specially peppered with snap!

"Our third review was

'Oh. My. God.

What are you on and where can I get some?'

From woahhhhh…

Well we are on snap! I though that was apparent in the title… anyway you can have a block of cheese as a reward. Wait, that's a toenail… aw well, keep it anyway!" Holly had read this one, and as she finished it Artemis suddenly realized she was back from the dead and promptly ate his foot.

"Well that's all! The next chapter will b…" Foaly started (from nowhere)

"Wait!! A spork!" holly shouted.

"And another review!" Artemis added, chasing his tail.

_What the hell were you guys thinking! Having Holly drink the snap and everybody talking in like Spanish or Latin and having Butler act like three animals. You guys are twisted freaks!_

_From Stefanlover12_

They all read.

"!" they all said.

"Why the flame man, we aren't twisted… just slightly odd…" said Artemis fowl senior. Then; "what are we doing?"

"What's a doing?" Artemis mother asked then ate an orange.

"Artemis doesn't like oranges. Or flames. He heated a fresh batch of snap with it, and then ate the bath tub. Don't flame again!"

And Artemis cackled, whilst he started a game of monopoly with himself.

Now onto more important things!

A/N-donde puedo comprar un bigote falso para mi perro?

Everyone who is reading this, lynch stefanlover12!


End file.
